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Posts Tagged ‘Hot Dogs’

Kind of, but not too fun NFL facts

Some interesting things to chew on (sadly not beef jerky):

Matt Cassel is 30th in the NFL in completion % (54.7), Carson Palmer 24th (59.3).

 

Matthew Brennan Cassel, Kansas Chiefs: The only known starting NFL quarterback to have never started in the collegiate ranks. Might or might not have been the QB at Bayside High. Also really loves the Backstreet Boys.

 

 

Carson Palmer has professed his love for John Morrell's meat. Wigger and all-around turd sandwich Cool Ray gives props in his triple-platinum single off the classic "I'm a Trashy Midwestern White Rapper" LP.

 


David Garrard has more passing TDs (9), than Tony Romo, Matt Schaub, Matt Ryan, Jay Cutler, and Joe Flacco, and as many as Brett Favre and Donovan McNabb combined.

 

Did you know that David Garrard has Crohn's disease? Do you even know anything at all about Crohn's disease? I didn't think so. When not leading the NFL's most irrelevant team, Garrard also makes a mean Buffalo Chicken Dip. Who knew?

 

David Garrard’s Buffalo Chicken Dip

Yields: 6-8 servings

1 8-ounce package cream cheese
2 cups cooked chicken (a store-bought rotisserie chicken works best), shredded
1/2 cup buffalo wing sauce, recommended brand Texas Pete
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1/2 cup blue cheese dressing (eyeball it)
1/4 to 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese (eyeball it)
Tortilla chips
Carrot sticks
Celery sticks

Preheat oven to 300°F.

Cover the bottom of an 8×8” dish or pie plate with cream cheese.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the shredded chicken, wing sauce and butter, and pour over the cream cheese-filled dish or pie plate.

Top with just enough blue cheese dressing and mozzarella cheese to cover (adding too much cheese will cause a thick skin to form that will make eating the dip difficult once the cheese cools).

Heat the dip in the oven for 20 minutes.

Serve with Scoops (Tortillas or Fritos) alongside for dipping.



Favre has as many interceptions (7) as Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Vince Young, and both Philadelphia quarterbacks (Michael Vick, Kevin Kolb) combined (7).

 

"Nah, man, I gotta wife. Besides, I only did something like that once when I space docked this broad back in Knoxville."

 

Space docking (v.) The act of a person defecating into the vagina of another female person.

Grow up, you whiny bitch!

Darren McFadden has more rushing yards (392) than Frank Gore, Ray Rice, Jamaal Charles, and Matt Forte.

Reggie Wayne (39) and Austin Collie (37) are first and second in receptions.

 

No, no, not Austin's Collie, you dingus! That is some Mormon dude's name. Go figure.

 

Frank Gore and Danny Amendola (33)  trail only Wayne, Collie, and Roddy White in receptions.
Malcolm Floyd is averaging a gaudy 22.6 yards per reception on 22 catches.

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2 Men. 12 Minutes. 72 Hot Dogs.

Ali-Frazier. Balboa-Drago. Foreman-Competing Grill Salesmen. History is littered with great bouts of fortitude and will, where one man stands against another and they do battle. Tonight, October 14, 2010, you can add another to the great events in history:  Larimore-Perdue I.

Passion, Dedication and Gluttony are three words that will define tonight’s Clash of the Gastronomical Titans. It has been 55 days since Drew Larimore downed two pints of ice cream in less than 2 minutes, tossing his contenders to the side with a voracious eating style and gargantuan tongue en route to the 2010 Mayfield Ice Cream Eating Championship.

 

My counterpart this evening, after his August 20, 2010 conquest. Note his trophy/hat, as well as his ironic cut-off UFC shirt. Also, his beautiful punch-drunk face.

 

As his trainer/manager, it is my duty to keep him sharp for future competitions. Thus, tonight, we shall compete in a hot dog eating bonanza a la the famous July 4th Nathan’s contest. Ideally, no Asians will be arrested, and nobody will have an “upheaval”. Neither can be guaranteed. The event will commence at 11:50 pm ET. Pictures are to follow.

 

Artist depiction of Drew Larimore after tonight.